I would like to introduce me and my column with something that I think describes the essence of my life and initially my articles. So I will kick things off with two things very present in my life: sex and money. While thinking about it, I was surprised that something came to my mind that actually is not of any importance to me at all: relationships.

I’ve been single for all the 20 years of my being – four of them very confident and happy about my relationship status. I’m that kind of girl that sleeps around like a man, throws up on roses and stands in the corner judgingly glancing at couples while smoking a cigarette.

Now that you’ve basically got to know me let’s go one step further and talk about my preferences in men: baby faces, bowties and, most of all, rich. Money is not an essential preference of mine but on me it seems to work like a magnet – without me actively realizing it. If you don’t happen to date someone with the last name Swarovski there aren’t really any ways to find out your date’s account balance in advance so I’m surprised over and over again to find out that the guy I’m having drinks with is filthy rich. Or well, his parents are.

What sounds pretty spectacular to me at first is actually just hot air if you have a closer look. Simply hearing the word money seems to blind all my senses. I have no idea how it came to my mind that rich equals attractive. When I think about it, there are no real benefits when dating a rich guy. Well, there’s no question who’s paying for drinks or dinner, right? The issue here is that I have a problem with domination and always have to get the cheque myself. No matter how bad the date was, I usually pay for his stuff too. Getting my Manhattan paid for is like bowing down and giving away most of the power I so desperately need. So there’s no advantage whatsoever in the guy’s money for me. But even worse than that is the fact that all the rich guys’ personalities are frightfully terrible. People that are used to buying their way out of everything are simply not used to ‘normal’ social interactions. So what really is so great about wealthy men? Except having sex in a fancy apartment, there’s nothing I’m getting out of it. I could spend my time having sex in a lousy apartment but with a guy I can have a decent conversation with and who isn’t so smug it makes me want to puke. So what is my fucking problem?

You could think that I’m your regular gold digger – and when you hear me talk about money and its relationship to sex you would probably be sure of it. But I’m not even looking for a relationship! Let alone one with someone else maintaining me. I will always want to make money myself and as stupidly egocentric as it may sound, I would have a serious problem if my boyfriend/husband would earn a larger amount of money than I do. For example, presents would be such a big deal for me. Thinking of getting a Chanel purse as a gift makes me over the moon excited at first. But in the long run I would enjoy it a lot more if I splurged on it myself some time. Yes, that might take a few more years but wearing it then, I would have a more confident and independent feeling about myself. It’s not just a purse, it’s a sign of freedom!

So can someone explain why smugness + lame personality + full of himself + MONEY = someone I definitely need to date even though I have no intention of making use of his money at any point in my life? I have no idea where it’s coming from or if I’ll ever be cured but I figure, why not just have fun with it?! After all, those rich kids make for some good stories..