In my life I was never able to maintain relationships. How could I? I’m emotionally unavailable and have enormous commitment problems. But how is it logical then that I’ve been having a relationship with my best friends for half my life? There’s that saying that you might have fun with your lovers but that your friends are those who will always be there for you and therefore should never be forgotten while in a relationship. In my case the whole picture is a little more extreme. Seriously, the only reason me and my two best friends are not in a relationship is because we don’t have sex with each other. Literally, that’s it. Everything else is pretty much how I imagine a (perfect) relationship to be.

Is that the reason why I’m having commitment problems? Would I just love to have a boyfriend if they weren’t in my life? Is all this telling me that I will never have one because I’m already lucky enough to have these two soulmates in my life? If it’s that way, honestly, I will never complain! I’m immensely enjoying the asexual, open relationship we’re having. A guy is lucky if he makes #3 after them because I would never ‘cheat’ on our flawless relationships. Yes, there will be a day where one of us will have a boyfriend but considering the people we are (and after such a long time I think I can safely say that) I could never imagine getting abandoned by them. I read that you lose two close friends within the duration of a relationship. But since we’ve been so close for such a long time I doubt that would be me.

And that’s why I’m more than grateful to have never had a ‘real’ relationship. Because if I would have had a boyfriend when I met them or when I was much younger our relationship wouldn’t be the same.

When you’re a young girl it’s the social standard to be in a relationship and to let your ‘other half’ fulfil you. But is anyone questioning if that’s what they really want anymore? How come people think that you can only be truly happy when you’re in a relationship (or at least dating someone)? Maybe it’s because most people aren’t lucky enough to have the friends I have. Because the experiences I had with them are those you can only have when it’s the perfect match and I’m very certain that I’m more in love with my friends than many couples are. Honestly, if I’ll never make it to the point of being in a relationship I wouldn’t dare complain because I know how lucky I am.

We all know that cheesy quote ‘guys come and go but friends are forever’ – so thank you for growing with me, for all the drunk nights and, of course, for letting me cheat on you.

More by Adame?

https://stripped-magazine.com/category/columns/nomen-est-omen/