by 10999

The scene: an overnight train from Vienna, Austria to Treviso, Italy.

The characters: Me, my boyfriend and an enormous suitcase.

Special guest appearances by: 3 Australians armed with Vegemite, 1 stubbly-legged Spanish girl, 1 horny Israeli, 1 sandwich.

Notably missing: Earplugs, air conditioning and foot deodorant.

1. Yay – we are going to Italy!
2. Flying? Too expensive!
3. Train at €35 seat in a cabin – yeah, bring it on!
4. Better pack 5 swimsuits and an extra pair of trousers.
5. Shit, my suitcase is heavy.
6. Wow, it is hot in Vienna! I hope the train is air-conditioned.
7. If it is, you can’t really tell.
8. I hope the other 4 seats won’t be taken.
9. 3 more people arrive, they are Australian.
10. I hope the last seat won’t be taken.
11. 8 more minutes till departure and the seat is still free – fingers crossed!
12. 3 minutes and still not taken.
13. Spanish girl on Interrail arrives in the cabin.
14. Turns out I am not the only one with a huge suitcase.
15. We spend 20 minutes arranging the suitcases.
16. Where is my toothbrush?
17. It’s at the bottom of the suitcase.
18. Who needs brushed teeth on an overnight train anyway?
19. How bad will my feet smell if I take my shoes of?
20. Well, they don’t smell worse than the rest of the feet in the cabin.
21. Hm, I am a little bit hungry.
22. Better unwrap my sandwich.
23. Nope – bad idea. Angry glances hit me while I feel people in Italy can already hear me unwrapping my sandwich.
24. Oh, that seems like a nice position to sleep in!
25. Maybe if I move a little bit over here….
26. … or a bit to the right…
27. Nope, super uncomfortable.
28. What happens if I try to sit up?
29. Wait, what can I lean my head against?
30. Now I have my boyfriend’s toe in my ear
31. This is surprisingly comfortable.
32. The f*cking people in the next cabin won’t shut up.
33. We already heard through the wall that the Israeli dude is trying to flirt with all of the three girls in there.
34. They all have boyfriends.
35. I need a pee, but I would have to wake everyone up to get to the toilet…
36. I can hold it back until the morning.
37. No, I cannot hold it back until the morning.
38. Sorry guys, it is urgent!
39. Train toilets are as disgusting as remembered.
40. Let’s go back to sleep.
41. We’re stopping – are we already there?
42. Nope, it is 2 in the morning and the engines are turned off.
43. Wait, if the engine is off, the air condition…
44. Shit, it is getting hot in here!
45. Did you know that the toilets don’t work if the engine is off? Well, apparently they don’t.
46. 90 minutes later we are still standing in the train station.
47. Noise, did I hear a noise? Is someone trying to break in?
48. Oh, just the Australian dude’s snoring.
49. Damn, I shouldn’t have ate the beans yesterday – my belly hurts from winds…
50. I can’t let one slide.
51. No I really can’t.
52. Or can I?
53. Everyone would blame it on the snoring Australian anyways.
54. Oh yeah, now I can go back to sleep.
55. No I actually can’t because the Spanish girl’s stubbly legs –who clearly missed some shaving on her Interrail trip – make my legs itch.
56. There is no room to move at all – my butt is touching the one of a stranger.
57. A mother is spooning her 35 years old son.
58. I feel like Golom. I need my precious… sleep.
59. Back to sleeping position hugging my boyfriend’s surprisingly not smelly feet.
60. What, my alarm already went off? I thought I just dazed away for a second…
61. I don’t remember the times I could actually move my neck.
62. The Australian dude is having breakfast.
63. He is offering everyone some crackers with Vegemite spread from his travel-sized Vegemite-tube.
64. My eyes try to close again.
65. Just for one minute.
66. Shit, our stop!
67. Finally off the train.
68. 38° heat is greeting me.
69. Fuck, I need a holiday.